"A Polish man moved to the U.S. and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well - until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: Have you any grounds?
Man: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
Man: It's made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
Man: No, we have a carport.
Lawyer: I mean. What are your relations like?
Man: All my relations are still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Man: We have a high fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
Man: No, I always wake up before her.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Man: She's going to kill me.
Lawyer: What makes you think that?
Man: I have proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Man: She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle and put it on the shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says:
"Tisdagshumor från etern"